Oh, hey, this is my first post of 2014! This is my fourth year of blogging. That's crazy. What better way to start of the year than by blogging about one of my favorite things?
Well, this topic is kind of a stalling tactic because the real event in my life has been being the Master Electrician of the Dolphin Show, but I'm not fully done processing that experience, so it'll be another week or two before I can write about that. So, until then, Harry Potter.
I came to be thinking a lot about Harry Potter as a result of my work on Dolphin. It was a really long and challenging tech process because of the scale of the show, and so to deal with the stress I found myself turning to wizard rock. I came home from a particularly stressful day and played through an entire Lauren Fairweather album (The Prince's Tale) with my guitar. It made me feel so much better, as did the familiarity of my "Nerd," "Harry Potter," and "Starkid" playlists. I had also started the month by watching A Very Potter Musical with friends, and so the Starkid version of things was also strong in my mind and I wandered around the theater for multiple weeks humming "Coolest Girl." My wizard rock phase happened to be during my first Dolphin, so the more things change, the more they stay the same.
I think that the reason I find so much comfort in Harry Potter is because it is a different world, one that I am extremely familiar with and love to explore. It's an area of expertise for me, and a story I can easily get lost in. The mythology of Rowling's wizarding world is extensive and the commentary, analysis, and headcanon that the fan community produces to this day make me reconsider the perspectives I took as a child and teenager.
More than that, Harry's world is a frame of reference for practically everyone in my social circle. The discovery and sharing of the I'm a Hufflepuff video was a high point for me in the last month because everyone seemed to love it as much as I did. It sparks conversations about what houses we are in, how things went with Pottermore (does anybody still use that site?), how we sort ourselves, how we sort each other...the list goes on. We discuss evil in terms of Voldemort, love in terms of Lily and James, Ron and Hermione, Harry and Ginny, Severus and Sirius...and Dumbledore is a symbol of both what a wizard is and what an educator can be. Each time I uncover new layers of meaning I am reminded of how robust and beautiful a world Rowling crafted, and it is an excitement I can share with people around me.
I had a fantastic conversation with a friend this week about sorting. We were discussing how the houses we identify with have changed over time, which I believe to be the point of the entire YA trope of categorization of humans by personality trait. People grow, change, and evolve, so whatever the categories are, we have qualities in each that assert their dominance in different ways and at different times. We are all brave, ambitious, intelligent, and loyal, but where we are in life tends to determine the percentages of each at any given moment. This whole thing started when I was sorted into Hufflepuff by three friends in the last few weeks. I have always put myself in either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw (a Gryffinclaw, if you will) because of the way I identify with Hermione, Lily, and intellect/cleverness. But my friend with whom I had the sorting conversation explained it as a valuation of the who over the what in a given endeavor, which I see. Once I understood Hufflepuff, I always admired them as a house, so being placed there is pretty cool at this point.
I love the way that Harry Potter is ever-present. That I can talk about the values of a house as the basis for an argument and my peers understand me. That there is a world full of people who love these books as much as I do. That the music of his world can keep me grounded when things are crazy in mine. That Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.
Today is awesome because of Harry Potter.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Thursday, December 26, 2013
On Liking Things
Fandom culture is both wonderful and frightening. I like the things that I like for my own reasons, and I truly enjoy sharing them with others either in person or through sites like tumblr that let me reblog gifsets of shows and movies to my heart's content. I recently transferred my YouTube account to a new e-mail address, which meant re-favoriting all my "favorite videos" one by one because I couldn't figure out a better way to do it. I was fascinated by both the things I had earmarked as early as 2007 and the fact that I actually still loved most of those videos. It was so fun to rediscover The Danish Poet and the 50 Jokes in 4 Minutes series by Hank Green on the Vlogbrothers channel.
I've also been listening to old playlists while I've been driving during break. Songs have shuffled on that friends gave me in high school, and they're still songs I enjoy and am not ashamed (or very ashamed) of as much as I was when they were given to me. Just today I listened to "I'll Follow You into the Dark" and "The Element Song," the former is a fantastic song, and the latter is a fantastic song that happens to be my party trick and a silly thing to have on my "Driving" playlist.
I find the wonderful thing about fan culture to be when we can share things we love with other people who love them just as much as we do. It is such a fantastic way to form communities and friendships.
The frightening thing about fandom is when it refuses to evolve with the thing. Now is the part when you skip to the last two paragraphs if you don't want to read my really long rant about Doctor Who.
(spoilers ahead if you haven't seen The Day of the Doctor or The Time of the Doctor)
I am very frustrated by a lot of the commentary on the current run of Doctor Who. I believe that if you like something, you're allowed to like it, and if you don't like it, you don't have to have anything to do with it. When things exist over time, they evolve. This is true of species, artists, art, stories, planets, people...everything. As you grow and change and the things you love grow and change, you might find that you do not like the thing anymore. THAT IS OKAY. Your tastes are allowed to change. I used to hate asparagus; now I love them. I used to love performing on stage; now I strongly prefer being a techie. All of this is okay.
As a fan, I tend to accept canon. I may think it's terrible, but I try not to superimpose my own extensions to the mythology of things (like I hate the epilogue of Harry Potter, but I would never decide that Harry marries Luna instead of Ginny and call it "in-world" or canon). So, when characters change or plotlines twist unexpectedly, I take it in stride and figure out how the canonical mythology justifies it. For instance, after The Day of the Doctor, I have determined that ALL PREVIOUS PLOTS REMAIN RELEVANT BECAUSE NO DOCTORS OTHER THAN 11 CAN REMEMBER THAT THEY SAVED GALLIFREY.
So, the main complaints about Steven Moffat as showrunner are that he (a) nullifies plots and (b) does not develop characters. This is most often in comparison to Russell T. Davies, who, as a creator, tends to focus his energies on developing the companion characters rather than his heroes (see Torchwood and how much we love Tosh, Owen, Ianto, and Gwen who function as sidekicks to Jack). I think that a faction of the fandom got attached to Davies' style of focusing on the companions and were less satisfied when Moffat turned the focus back to the Doctor because we, as humans, relate to the companions. They live the fantasy most of us have about getting to travel through space and time, and we want to know what their experiences are because the hero is a charismatic, enigmatic alien.
To address these concerns about Moffat, I would like to argue the following. Regarding point (a) the only instance I can think of when he nullifies a plot device without justification is in this year's Christmas Special when the Angel did not send Clara back when it touched her. I have read arguments that he destroyed the integrity of the series by saving Gallifrey (which he justifies in the script) and watering down monsters like the Weeping Angels or the Silence. The Angels and the Silence are really freaking creepy. I think the "watering down" is us getting used to how they work and what they do. I am still frightened by them.
As for a lack of character development, I would say that he selectively develops characters. He gives the series to the Doctor where Davies gave it to the Companions. It is a different philosophy, and I feel that Matt's Doctor was a very rounded portrayal. He got to be goofy, sad, scary, intimidating, frightened, anxious, caring, flirty, and so many other characteristics. His characterization was driven both by the writing and the acting, and I have truly enjoyed this actor in this part. As for the companions, I never really liked Amy, but Rory was a favorite of mine. I liked watching their relationship develop, and I think that Moffat portrayed the impact of the Doctor on a couple as the couple also developed. Clara has not had very much time, but she has already proven to be clever, intuitive, brave, kind, relatable, and initiative-taking. I'm not sure exactly what type of development the dissatisfied fans are looking for, but I clearly remember needing time to adjust to both Martha and Donna when they had their turns on the TARDIS as well. And we can look to Sherlock as evidence that Moffat can develop the heck out of characters.
One final area that gets a lot of complaints is Moffat's portrayal of women. The feminist analytical lens is not kind to many series, including such beloved classics as Star Wars and the works of JRR Tolkein (or even Sherlock, a series beloved by many of the same fans). The fact that a 50-year-old television show has at least one woman written into the paradigm is wonderful. The female companions are always integral to the progression and evolution of the series.
When the Doctor has a young and attractive face, of course there are going to be moments of flirtation that are created for comic relief, but my favorite moments of the show are when there is no sexual tension on screen. It hurts me to read commentary that takes the feminist issues out of context. For instance, in the most recent episode people are taking exception to the way the Doctor kisses Tasha. They had a previous relationship in which it was established that this behavior was acceptable. Just because the moment of consent does not appear on screen does not mean that it does not exist. We accept that Clara uses the bathroom without having to see it, so why do the rules of preexisting relationships differ? As a character, Tasha wields a whole lot of power; she is in charge of the Papal Mainframe, which is basically the intergalactic UN with the military power to back up its policies. If she ever wanted to draw a line, it would be there quite boldly. That's not to say that the nudity jokes or Amy as a kiss-o-gram were useful to the arc of the show, but taking anything out of context renders it meaningless.
Now, I just had a rant about the Doctor Who fandom. Back to fan culture more generally. Rants like the one I just had could be read by many people who understand the moments I reference (mine won't because I don't have a broad readership). First of all, these comments are MY OPINON. They are thoughts that came from my brain, influenced by the things I have read and seen. They are my own conclusions and analysis, and they make sense in my world. The problem I have with fan culture is when it gets to be a very exclusive club after it establishes itself in an inclusive way. Because I do not take exception to the arc my beloved series has taken in ways the fandom has established as popular, I am risking being ostracized, ridiculed, and hated. As much as I stand by the things I am saying at this point in time, it still hurts when a commenter calls me ignorant or selfish. I can shrug it off and say that if you don't like it, stop reading and stop watching, but that does not repair the poor opinion someone has formed of me. I am a part of my fan communities whether I agree with the overarching commentary or not. I am a part of the community whether or not we all agree that something is awesome (although if you don't think the thing we love is awesome, then why would you love it?).
I am a fan because I want to identify that way. It's like being a Nerdfighter: you are one if you want to be one. That is the only definition. I can love aspects of the thing that other people hate and vice versa; that is each individual's right. My problem is when the fans turn against the canon. We cannot unwrite what has been written and presented, and hating on any one contributor to those products (and all things happen collaboratively) is most likely a misattribution of blame. I am ready for a fandom that celebrates things that we love, the good and the bad, and lets each person draw their own conclusions. I am ready to be part of a community that loves the common thing. Like what you love. Love what you love. Squaresville got it right.
I'm not quite sure how to end this post. Love what you love. It's okay to be critical, but understand your content first. Don't hate on people; it's mean. Don't be mean. The things we love at one point in our lives can remain loves even as we evolve. Let yourself and your things evolve. I think that's the takeaway.
Today is awesome because I finished watching Sherlock with my mom. It was her first time and my second (complete), and she liked it. It's cool to share a fandom with her.
I've also been listening to old playlists while I've been driving during break. Songs have shuffled on that friends gave me in high school, and they're still songs I enjoy and am not ashamed (or very ashamed) of as much as I was when they were given to me. Just today I listened to "I'll Follow You into the Dark" and "The Element Song," the former is a fantastic song, and the latter is a fantastic song that happens to be my party trick and a silly thing to have on my "Driving" playlist.
I find the wonderful thing about fan culture to be when we can share things we love with other people who love them just as much as we do. It is such a fantastic way to form communities and friendships.
The frightening thing about fandom is when it refuses to evolve with the thing. Now is the part when you skip to the last two paragraphs if you don't want to read my really long rant about Doctor Who.
(spoilers ahead if you haven't seen The Day of the Doctor or The Time of the Doctor)
I am very frustrated by a lot of the commentary on the current run of Doctor Who. I believe that if you like something, you're allowed to like it, and if you don't like it, you don't have to have anything to do with it. When things exist over time, they evolve. This is true of species, artists, art, stories, planets, people...everything. As you grow and change and the things you love grow and change, you might find that you do not like the thing anymore. THAT IS OKAY. Your tastes are allowed to change. I used to hate asparagus; now I love them. I used to love performing on stage; now I strongly prefer being a techie. All of this is okay.
As a fan, I tend to accept canon. I may think it's terrible, but I try not to superimpose my own extensions to the mythology of things (like I hate the epilogue of Harry Potter, but I would never decide that Harry marries Luna instead of Ginny and call it "in-world" or canon). So, when characters change or plotlines twist unexpectedly, I take it in stride and figure out how the canonical mythology justifies it. For instance, after The Day of the Doctor, I have determined that ALL PREVIOUS PLOTS REMAIN RELEVANT BECAUSE NO DOCTORS OTHER THAN 11 CAN REMEMBER THAT THEY SAVED GALLIFREY.
So, the main complaints about Steven Moffat as showrunner are that he (a) nullifies plots and (b) does not develop characters. This is most often in comparison to Russell T. Davies, who, as a creator, tends to focus his energies on developing the companion characters rather than his heroes (see Torchwood and how much we love Tosh, Owen, Ianto, and Gwen who function as sidekicks to Jack). I think that a faction of the fandom got attached to Davies' style of focusing on the companions and were less satisfied when Moffat turned the focus back to the Doctor because we, as humans, relate to the companions. They live the fantasy most of us have about getting to travel through space and time, and we want to know what their experiences are because the hero is a charismatic, enigmatic alien.
To address these concerns about Moffat, I would like to argue the following. Regarding point (a) the only instance I can think of when he nullifies a plot device without justification is in this year's Christmas Special when the Angel did not send Clara back when it touched her. I have read arguments that he destroyed the integrity of the series by saving Gallifrey (which he justifies in the script) and watering down monsters like the Weeping Angels or the Silence. The Angels and the Silence are really freaking creepy. I think the "watering down" is us getting used to how they work and what they do. I am still frightened by them.
As for a lack of character development, I would say that he selectively develops characters. He gives the series to the Doctor where Davies gave it to the Companions. It is a different philosophy, and I feel that Matt's Doctor was a very rounded portrayal. He got to be goofy, sad, scary, intimidating, frightened, anxious, caring, flirty, and so many other characteristics. His characterization was driven both by the writing and the acting, and I have truly enjoyed this actor in this part. As for the companions, I never really liked Amy, but Rory was a favorite of mine. I liked watching their relationship develop, and I think that Moffat portrayed the impact of the Doctor on a couple as the couple also developed. Clara has not had very much time, but she has already proven to be clever, intuitive, brave, kind, relatable, and initiative-taking. I'm not sure exactly what type of development the dissatisfied fans are looking for, but I clearly remember needing time to adjust to both Martha and Donna when they had their turns on the TARDIS as well. And we can look to Sherlock as evidence that Moffat can develop the heck out of characters.
One final area that gets a lot of complaints is Moffat's portrayal of women. The feminist analytical lens is not kind to many series, including such beloved classics as Star Wars and the works of JRR Tolkein (or even Sherlock, a series beloved by many of the same fans). The fact that a 50-year-old television show has at least one woman written into the paradigm is wonderful. The female companions are always integral to the progression and evolution of the series.
When the Doctor has a young and attractive face, of course there are going to be moments of flirtation that are created for comic relief, but my favorite moments of the show are when there is no sexual tension on screen. It hurts me to read commentary that takes the feminist issues out of context. For instance, in the most recent episode people are taking exception to the way the Doctor kisses Tasha. They had a previous relationship in which it was established that this behavior was acceptable. Just because the moment of consent does not appear on screen does not mean that it does not exist. We accept that Clara uses the bathroom without having to see it, so why do the rules of preexisting relationships differ? As a character, Tasha wields a whole lot of power; she is in charge of the Papal Mainframe, which is basically the intergalactic UN with the military power to back up its policies. If she ever wanted to draw a line, it would be there quite boldly. That's not to say that the nudity jokes or Amy as a kiss-o-gram were useful to the arc of the show, but taking anything out of context renders it meaningless.
Now, I just had a rant about the Doctor Who fandom. Back to fan culture more generally. Rants like the one I just had could be read by many people who understand the moments I reference (mine won't because I don't have a broad readership). First of all, these comments are MY OPINON. They are thoughts that came from my brain, influenced by the things I have read and seen. They are my own conclusions and analysis, and they make sense in my world. The problem I have with fan culture is when it gets to be a very exclusive club after it establishes itself in an inclusive way. Because I do not take exception to the arc my beloved series has taken in ways the fandom has established as popular, I am risking being ostracized, ridiculed, and hated. As much as I stand by the things I am saying at this point in time, it still hurts when a commenter calls me ignorant or selfish. I can shrug it off and say that if you don't like it, stop reading and stop watching, but that does not repair the poor opinion someone has formed of me. I am a part of my fan communities whether I agree with the overarching commentary or not. I am a part of the community whether or not we all agree that something is awesome (although if you don't think the thing we love is awesome, then why would you love it?).
I am a fan because I want to identify that way. It's like being a Nerdfighter: you are one if you want to be one. That is the only definition. I can love aspects of the thing that other people hate and vice versa; that is each individual's right. My problem is when the fans turn against the canon. We cannot unwrite what has been written and presented, and hating on any one contributor to those products (and all things happen collaboratively) is most likely a misattribution of blame. I am ready for a fandom that celebrates things that we love, the good and the bad, and lets each person draw their own conclusions. I am ready to be part of a community that loves the common thing. Like what you love. Love what you love. Squaresville got it right.
I'm not quite sure how to end this post. Love what you love. It's okay to be critical, but understand your content first. Don't hate on people; it's mean. Don't be mean. The things we love at one point in our lives can remain loves even as we evolve. Let yourself and your things evolve. I think that's the takeaway.
Today is awesome because I finished watching Sherlock with my mom. It was her first time and my second (complete), and she liked it. It's cool to share a fandom with her.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Fangirling Across the Whoniverse
It is no secret that I am kind of obsessed with the BBC television program Doctor Who. I have been a fan for about three years now, I am well versed in the canon and mythology of the series, and I can name all 13 actors who have portrayed this iconic character. I collect TARDISes, my current count is at 12 (4 buttons, 3 drinkware, 2 posters, 2 consecutive phone cases, and 1 t-shirt). As a good fangirl, I know things about the Whoniverse that I have not personally watched yet, such as costume pieces and personality traits of older Doctors or the world of Torchwood. Some of that has changed over break.
I have a friend at college who decided to watch Torchwood, the Doctor Who spinoff series. She had not watched Doctor Who yet, and it still completely baffles me that any component of Torchwood could possibly make sense to her. So, over winter break, I decided to watch Torchwood to be able to fully grasp the details that she was talking about, and at the same time she began watching Doctor Who.
This is the scenario: two friends in different states watching each others' shows that exist in the same universe. Long-distance fangirling ensued via texting and all forms of social media. It was fantastic. Here are some excerpts from our conversations:
"I just can't. I think I'm in love with Captain Jack. Is this what love feels like?"
"ugh. I am just so attracted to captain jack in different ways depending on which show I'm watching"
"Yes! sorcery of the Barrowman-Davies partnership. Making everybody fall in love."
"I don't think you realize I am actually crying tears of happiness. Happy winter break, everyone. If you need me I'll be binge watching any and everything John Barrowman."
"To which I say, welcome to the Whoniverse :)"
"I'm upset that jack and rose searches result in titanic. I JUST WANT BIG BEN."
"Silly titanic. So 1997. We want pretty British television stills."
"How on earth do you understand references like 'great big spaceship on Christmas' or 'the battle of canary wharf' or 'cybermen?' It's so Who.
"YOU SAW THE FIRST EPISODE WITHOUT KNOWING JACK CANT DIE
"OR THE SIGNIFICANCE OF CARDIFF"
"Lol I just put my head in my hands looked at the projection of jack and sighed.
I am a parody of myself"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA
"That's a fairly normal reaction"
"He's just
"Perfect
"And such a scoundrel as a con man"
"Pure charm and charisma"
"I've decided that Torchwood is Doctor Who's sexy cousin"
"Oh. Of course it is. It's Doctor Who with an amped up sex drive."
"DALEKS?!"
"It's always daleks."
"Vote Saxon. Signs in Torchwood. This series is a lot like Angel. Especially relative to Buffy.
"THAT WAS THE TARDIS!!!!! I'm so done. All kinds of can't even going on over here."
"HAHAHAHAHA"
"If captain jack is an addiction I'm not sure I ever want to be cured. Also just watched queen Victoria start torchwood"
"TOSHIKO AND OWEN. I AM LITERALLY CRYING. THERE ARE TEARS ON MY FACE. So much for season two."
"I may have just written a dr who or torchwood line into my play by accident. Lol oops."
"Possibly the best thing I've heard today"
"I am weeping
"The doctor is weeping
"Rose is weeping
"We are all promptly weeping"
And then there's some sharing on tumblr and sending each other pics and videos and links. But you get the picture.
The thing that totally amazed me throughout this back and forth is that despite time and space, we could enjoy these series together. We were watching each others' shows, enjoying them immensely, and instantly communicating our moments of surprise, joy, sorrow, and general reactions. It was the evolution of fandom members in realtime across media platforms. It was so 21st century, and so much fun.
Today is awesome because there will be a new episode of Doctor Who tonight!
I have a friend at college who decided to watch Torchwood, the Doctor Who spinoff series. She had not watched Doctor Who yet, and it still completely baffles me that any component of Torchwood could possibly make sense to her. So, over winter break, I decided to watch Torchwood to be able to fully grasp the details that she was talking about, and at the same time she began watching Doctor Who.
This is the scenario: two friends in different states watching each others' shows that exist in the same universe. Long-distance fangirling ensued via texting and all forms of social media. It was fantastic. Here are some excerpts from our conversations:
"I just can't. I think I'm in love with Captain Jack. Is this what love feels like?"
"ugh. I am just so attracted to captain jack in different ways depending on which show I'm watching"
"Yes! sorcery of the Barrowman-Davies partnership. Making everybody fall in love."
"I don't think you realize I am actually crying tears of happiness. Happy winter break, everyone. If you need me I'll be binge watching any and everything John Barrowman."
"To which I say, welcome to the Whoniverse :)"
"I'm upset that jack and rose searches result in titanic. I JUST WANT BIG BEN."
"Silly titanic. So 1997. We want pretty British television stills."
"How on earth do you understand references like 'great big spaceship on Christmas' or 'the battle of canary wharf' or 'cybermen?' It's so Who.
"YOU SAW THE FIRST EPISODE WITHOUT KNOWING JACK CANT DIE
"OR THE SIGNIFICANCE OF CARDIFF"
"Lol I just put my head in my hands looked at the projection of jack and sighed.
I am a parody of myself"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA
"That's a fairly normal reaction"
"He's just
"Perfect
"And such a scoundrel as a con man"
"Pure charm and charisma"
"I've decided that Torchwood is Doctor Who's sexy cousin"
"Oh. Of course it is. It's Doctor Who with an amped up sex drive."
"DALEKS?!"
"It's always daleks."
"Vote Saxon. Signs in Torchwood. This series is a lot like Angel. Especially relative to Buffy.
"THAT WAS THE TARDIS!!!!! I'm so done. All kinds of can't even going on over here."
"HAHAHAHAHA"
"If captain jack is an addiction I'm not sure I ever want to be cured. Also just watched queen Victoria start torchwood"
"TOSHIKO AND OWEN. I AM LITERALLY CRYING. THERE ARE TEARS ON MY FACE. So much for season two."
"I may have just written a dr who or torchwood line into my play by accident. Lol oops."
"Possibly the best thing I've heard today"
"I am weeping
"The doctor is weeping
"Rose is weeping
"We are all promptly weeping"
And then there's some sharing on tumblr and sending each other pics and videos and links. But you get the picture.
The thing that totally amazed me throughout this back and forth is that despite time and space, we could enjoy these series together. We were watching each others' shows, enjoying them immensely, and instantly communicating our moments of surprise, joy, sorrow, and general reactions. It was the evolution of fandom members in realtime across media platforms. It was so 21st century, and so much fun.
Today is awesome because there will be a new episode of Doctor Who tonight!
Monday, December 9, 2013
Fall Quarter 2013 In Review
It's definitely been an entire month since I've written here. I've only posted three times this quarter. I legitimately enjoy blogging, but my lack of writing made me think about why I haven't been keeping up here as much. And, really, it's because I've been busy and happy and social and so focused on living my life that I just have not sat down to write about it. So I'm doing a sort of review of all the things that happened this quarter. This numbered list has headings, so if you don't want to read the whole life update, you can find the things that interest you.
1. School. Lots of school happened. Or not. I was in four classes, 2 theater and 2 sociology, and not all of them met all the time or had tons of work. I loved my theater classes to death. They were wonderful, I learned tons, and had so much fun along the way. I despised one of my sociology classes, but the other was my thesis seminar.
Thesis is such a thing in my life; I'm coming close to being halfway through the data collection phase. It is due in 88 days and that freaks me out a little, but it's going to be great. I really do like my project. Since I'm approved by the Institutional Review Board, I might share that final product here. But then again, maybe not. We'll see how I'm feeling about it in March. FUN FACT: My thesis is due the day of Dance Marathon, so there will be a thousand-person 30-hour dance party to celebrate the conclusion of my capstone project. Yippee.
2. Theater. I unequivocally and unabashedly did a lot of theater. I am going to have worked on at least 50 shows by the time I graduate, and that number is a wonderful and scary thing. I saw a lot of shows for free by virtue of working on them and taking advantage of opportunities to go to open dress rehearsals, and I think that was a pretty fun way to go. I was the master electrician on Urinetown and Happy Birthday, Wanda June, and I designed the lights for With Two Wings. I also helped out on Man of La Mancha, G-d of Carnage, The 39 Steps, and Alice in Wonderland. I saw The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Hundred Dresses, and Pride and Prejudice from the theater department.
I've been working quite a lot on getting the prep done for this year's Dolphin Show, for which I am the master electrician (with a co-ME). That's taken a lot of mental energy, and I have spent a lot of time in that particular theater space mostly for funsies because I love the people and the space but also for research. It's a pretty huge job, but the thing I figured out this quarter is that I actually kind of know what I'm doing and that people look to me to be knowledgeable. It takes a very short amount of time to go from being the clueless newbie to being the respected, knowledgeable authority. I was actually introduced to someone as "the best master electrician on campus" during Wanda June tech, and that kind of freaked me out because some of my friends are just as good if not better than I am. It's nice to have that reputation, though. I think I measure age in theater, so now I'm feeling pretty old as a senior.
3. Music. I finally got on the Spotify wagon. I mostly listen to The Mountain Goats and PigPen Theatre Co., but there are some fantastic Disney soundtracks there, too. And musicals. A friend recommended one called Dogfight, and it was really good. Beautiful singing and orchestration.There's not much else to say. I've really gotten into those two bands, though. The Mountain Goats have great lyrics and PigPen is good for focusing and background listening. PigPen also happens to be a group with a fantastic story and creation process, so I just kind of like them on principle. One of them is from my hometown, so I like them even more.
4. Books. I did not read very much this quarter. I re-read the first two Divergent books in preparation for Allegiant to come out, and then I read that, and it was compelling, but not quite what I was hoping for. There was a character who died unnecessarily and it got into a sci-fi conspiracy thing that felt a little forced to me. I switched over to reading my school books (Gang Leader for a Day by Sudhir Venkatesh is actually really good) after those novels because I didn't have any others with me, but I am now doing a re-read of The Catcher in the Rye. I like it better now that I'm not totally offended by the amount of swearing. Eighth grade Stephanie was not prepared for that.
5. TV. I am caught up on How I Met Your Mother and Parks and Recreation. I stayed current with Agents of SHIELD, and I like the show. It's super fun to watch a Joss Whedon program as it airs, and his wit is everywhere. Plus, superheroes are fun. And the show is really about humanity, so nothing to complain about there. I adored the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special. They really paid homage to the legacy of the series, and the plot twist was totally accounted for to keep the canon intact. If the fans were freaking out too much to hear those lines, then they need to re-watch and calm down. I also watched a show called Dance Academy. It was an Australian teen drama about the National Academy of Dance. It was like Center Stage but with Australian teenagers dealing with life stuff and ballet. I secretly wish I were a ballerina. I think that's it.
6. Movies. I only went to the movies to see Catching Fire (and the Doctor Who simulcast; so much cosplay, so much fun!). I loved the adaptation as much as I enjoyed the first film. I watched The Polar Express for the first time, and I found the animation of scenery and still humans to be brilliant, but faces and bodies in motion were very much in the uncanny valley. I've been in a Disney rediscovery phase with some of my friends, so I've watched The Aristocats, Hercules, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Tangled in that context. Alan Menken is a genius; end of story. I guess Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella and the live broadcast of The Sound of Music fall into this category as well. Cinderella: great. Sound of Music: not so great.
7. Coffee. Coffee is delicious. Just felt like making that statement.
8. Soda. Is nearly out of my life. I've taken to drinking water and seltzer water instead of sugar free cola. I took a week off to do a caffeine cleanse, and then the idea of pouring highly artificial liquids into my body became less appealing. And fizzy water is pretty darn delicious. I think it's good that I drink less soda, but a cherry coke zero is still my comfort food.
9. Friends. I have great ones. I have people who I can unquestioningly text just because, people who I can hang out with for hours that feel like minutes, people who are ridiculously supportive of everything I'm doing, and people with unending faith in my ability to succeed. People who know me well enough that they can name the things that I'm struggling with before I figure it out. I truly appreciate the great people in my life. I take a while to be comfortable and confident that my friends are actually my friends, and it's hard to express how much my friends mean to me. It's a lot.
I think this is also the section where I should write about all the new people I've met this quarter. I met so many fantastic new people this term. Freshmen and upperclassmen with whom I have never interacted, and I am just so impressed by how kind, funny, and talented these people are. Special shout out to Team Alpha and the Ducklings (which would be a fantastic band name; please don't steal it), my mentees, and my Dolphreshmen. You all made this a very special quarter and I enjoy knowing you.
I was remarkably social this quarter. I went to parties, which I never do, and I just spent time with people rather than Netflix. (I also spent time with Netflix. Let's be honest). I just put myself in the mindset of prioritizing social life over sleep, which I can definitely feel, but it is certainly the right choice for me at this time.
10. Because who stops a list at 9? Miscellaneous Life. I think there are some subheadings here, since this whole post is about life. My dorm is so completely wonderful this year. I really like my room; it is my home. And the entire house was renovated, so the common areas and kitchens are absolutely gorgeous. I can also control the heating/air conditioning in my room, so that's great.
I rate a lot of things on some sort of graded scale. Like I have a 1-10 for stress/anxiety/frustration and a "meh"-"no don't do that" for climbing on things in theaters. I think I baseline at a 3 and can count on one hand the times I've hit a 10. It happened once this quarter, the day before the first part of my second degree test, and the day of my driving test. I like scales; they let me rate things against a baseline and be scientific about where I stand.
I only went to the gym once, but I think the amount of running around I did for theater stuff kind of balanced it out. I am still healthy and strong, but maybe not as strong as if I had kept training somehow. I'll get back to that over winter break, and I've already worked out (haha...punny) that I can manage to go to the gym before class every day in the winter, and I will probably actually follow through on forcing myself to do so.
I also realized that, looking back over all of college, while my choices, abilities, and competencies may have changed over time, there is still a core of who I am in all of those versions of myself. I know that some of the things I think and do now are the opposite of how I was as a freshman (see the friends section of this post and being comfortable/confident), but I have no doubt in my mind that every choice I made along the way to getting where I am now was the right choice for me. Context matters, and as my context changes, so do the decisions I make, and I am very okay with that.
I'm going to call this done. List made. I think that sums things up quite nicely.
Today is awesome because I am done with this term and have three weeks at home to relax, sleep, be with my family and friends, and make serious progress on my thesis at an actually relaxed pace. Happy winter break.
1. School. Lots of school happened. Or not. I was in four classes, 2 theater and 2 sociology, and not all of them met all the time or had tons of work. I loved my theater classes to death. They were wonderful, I learned tons, and had so much fun along the way. I despised one of my sociology classes, but the other was my thesis seminar.
Thesis is such a thing in my life; I'm coming close to being halfway through the data collection phase. It is due in 88 days and that freaks me out a little, but it's going to be great. I really do like my project. Since I'm approved by the Institutional Review Board, I might share that final product here. But then again, maybe not. We'll see how I'm feeling about it in March. FUN FACT: My thesis is due the day of Dance Marathon, so there will be a thousand-person 30-hour dance party to celebrate the conclusion of my capstone project. Yippee.
2. Theater. I unequivocally and unabashedly did a lot of theater. I am going to have worked on at least 50 shows by the time I graduate, and that number is a wonderful and scary thing. I saw a lot of shows for free by virtue of working on them and taking advantage of opportunities to go to open dress rehearsals, and I think that was a pretty fun way to go. I was the master electrician on Urinetown and Happy Birthday, Wanda June, and I designed the lights for With Two Wings. I also helped out on Man of La Mancha, G-d of Carnage, The 39 Steps, and Alice in Wonderland. I saw The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Hundred Dresses, and Pride and Prejudice from the theater department.
I've been working quite a lot on getting the prep done for this year's Dolphin Show, for which I am the master electrician (with a co-ME). That's taken a lot of mental energy, and I have spent a lot of time in that particular theater space mostly for funsies because I love the people and the space but also for research. It's a pretty huge job, but the thing I figured out this quarter is that I actually kind of know what I'm doing and that people look to me to be knowledgeable. It takes a very short amount of time to go from being the clueless newbie to being the respected, knowledgeable authority. I was actually introduced to someone as "the best master electrician on campus" during Wanda June tech, and that kind of freaked me out because some of my friends are just as good if not better than I am. It's nice to have that reputation, though. I think I measure age in theater, so now I'm feeling pretty old as a senior.
3. Music. I finally got on the Spotify wagon. I mostly listen to The Mountain Goats and PigPen Theatre Co., but there are some fantastic Disney soundtracks there, too. And musicals. A friend recommended one called Dogfight, and it was really good. Beautiful singing and orchestration.There's not much else to say. I've really gotten into those two bands, though. The Mountain Goats have great lyrics and PigPen is good for focusing and background listening. PigPen also happens to be a group with a fantastic story and creation process, so I just kind of like them on principle. One of them is from my hometown, so I like them even more.
4. Books. I did not read very much this quarter. I re-read the first two Divergent books in preparation for Allegiant to come out, and then I read that, and it was compelling, but not quite what I was hoping for. There was a character who died unnecessarily and it got into a sci-fi conspiracy thing that felt a little forced to me. I switched over to reading my school books (Gang Leader for a Day by Sudhir Venkatesh is actually really good) after those novels because I didn't have any others with me, but I am now doing a re-read of The Catcher in the Rye. I like it better now that I'm not totally offended by the amount of swearing. Eighth grade Stephanie was not prepared for that.
5. TV. I am caught up on How I Met Your Mother and Parks and Recreation. I stayed current with Agents of SHIELD, and I like the show. It's super fun to watch a Joss Whedon program as it airs, and his wit is everywhere. Plus, superheroes are fun. And the show is really about humanity, so nothing to complain about there. I adored the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special. They really paid homage to the legacy of the series, and the plot twist was totally accounted for to keep the canon intact. If the fans were freaking out too much to hear those lines, then they need to re-watch and calm down. I also watched a show called Dance Academy. It was an Australian teen drama about the National Academy of Dance. It was like Center Stage but with Australian teenagers dealing with life stuff and ballet. I secretly wish I were a ballerina. I think that's it.
6. Movies. I only went to the movies to see Catching Fire (and the Doctor Who simulcast; so much cosplay, so much fun!). I loved the adaptation as much as I enjoyed the first film. I watched The Polar Express for the first time, and I found the animation of scenery and still humans to be brilliant, but faces and bodies in motion were very much in the uncanny valley. I've been in a Disney rediscovery phase with some of my friends, so I've watched The Aristocats, Hercules, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Tangled in that context. Alan Menken is a genius; end of story. I guess Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella and the live broadcast of The Sound of Music fall into this category as well. Cinderella: great. Sound of Music: not so great.
7. Coffee. Coffee is delicious. Just felt like making that statement.
8. Soda. Is nearly out of my life. I've taken to drinking water and seltzer water instead of sugar free cola. I took a week off to do a caffeine cleanse, and then the idea of pouring highly artificial liquids into my body became less appealing. And fizzy water is pretty darn delicious. I think it's good that I drink less soda, but a cherry coke zero is still my comfort food.
9. Friends. I have great ones. I have people who I can unquestioningly text just because, people who I can hang out with for hours that feel like minutes, people who are ridiculously supportive of everything I'm doing, and people with unending faith in my ability to succeed. People who know me well enough that they can name the things that I'm struggling with before I figure it out. I truly appreciate the great people in my life. I take a while to be comfortable and confident that my friends are actually my friends, and it's hard to express how much my friends mean to me. It's a lot.
I think this is also the section where I should write about all the new people I've met this quarter. I met so many fantastic new people this term. Freshmen and upperclassmen with whom I have never interacted, and I am just so impressed by how kind, funny, and talented these people are. Special shout out to Team Alpha and the Ducklings (which would be a fantastic band name; please don't steal it), my mentees, and my Dolphreshmen. You all made this a very special quarter and I enjoy knowing you.
I was remarkably social this quarter. I went to parties, which I never do, and I just spent time with people rather than Netflix. (I also spent time with Netflix. Let's be honest). I just put myself in the mindset of prioritizing social life over sleep, which I can definitely feel, but it is certainly the right choice for me at this time.
10. Because who stops a list at 9? Miscellaneous Life. I think there are some subheadings here, since this whole post is about life. My dorm is so completely wonderful this year. I really like my room; it is my home. And the entire house was renovated, so the common areas and kitchens are absolutely gorgeous. I can also control the heating/air conditioning in my room, so that's great.
I rate a lot of things on some sort of graded scale. Like I have a 1-10 for stress/anxiety/frustration and a "meh"-"no don't do that" for climbing on things in theaters. I think I baseline at a 3 and can count on one hand the times I've hit a 10. It happened once this quarter, the day before the first part of my second degree test, and the day of my driving test. I like scales; they let me rate things against a baseline and be scientific about where I stand.
I only went to the gym once, but I think the amount of running around I did for theater stuff kind of balanced it out. I am still healthy and strong, but maybe not as strong as if I had kept training somehow. I'll get back to that over winter break, and I've already worked out (haha...punny) that I can manage to go to the gym before class every day in the winter, and I will probably actually follow through on forcing myself to do so.
I also realized that, looking back over all of college, while my choices, abilities, and competencies may have changed over time, there is still a core of who I am in all of those versions of myself. I know that some of the things I think and do now are the opposite of how I was as a freshman (see the friends section of this post and being comfortable/confident), but I have no doubt in my mind that every choice I made along the way to getting where I am now was the right choice for me. Context matters, and as my context changes, so do the decisions I make, and I am very okay with that.
I'm going to call this done. List made. I think that sums things up quite nicely.
Today is awesome because I am done with this term and have three weeks at home to relax, sleep, be with my family and friends, and make serious progress on my thesis at an actually relaxed pace. Happy winter break.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
With Two Wings and With Awesome Friends
Since that awesome theater day, I have had two consecutive tech weeks, one accidental and one in which I was the designer.
The accidental tech week was actually pretty fun. It was for the play we did in the Auditorium, and I just genuinely enjoyed being around for that process. I got to hang lights, do some programming (patch and groups, but at least that's something), and I acquired ALDucklings. ALD stands for Assistant Lighting Designer, and there was a point when I was walking down the aisle of the theater and the designer sent his four assistants to follow me, which they did single file, and I turned around and called it a "Make Way for Ducklings moment" and later that night realized that ALDucklings was a thing. I love my ducklings. They are great.
The Saturday between tech weeks, I went to a workshop on how to program the Ion light board. I learned a lot of advanced programming things, especially to do with effects and intelligent lights, and really enjoyed getting to go through the tutorial. The instructor was the woman who writes the user manuals for the light board, which I consult all the time, so that was pretty awesome. And I'm all swagged out with ETC merch. I got a t-shirt, messenger bag, ETC button, Source IV button, Source IV LED button, a lanyard, and a USB drive that looks like a Source IV LED. Super fun.
My own show was quite amazing. It's called With Two Wings and was a fantasy Theater for Young Audiences (TYA) show. I am actually proud of my design. This really cool thing happened where I made the look I imagined in my brain actually come to life on stage, and I am still in amazed that I managed to program LEDs on the Express. My lights were smarter than my board, and I still got them to look awesome. I even wrote an effect and a macro, which I have never done before, and that has left me in shock for a whole week now. I have never used the Express before, so having executed a good design with equipment I do not know well made me pretty happy. The kids who came to the show were amazing. They picked up on so much in the story and the telling of the story, and I was so impressed by the things they said in the talk backs. The team was a great group of people, and I am so happy to have been a part of this show.
Now for the awesome friends. Through the entire quarter, and particularly these two tech weeks, I've been hanging out regularly with a pretty cool group of people. They just get me without me having to work for it, they like going on adventures, and it's not a big deal if I casually make humiliating comments about quarter birthdays in front of them. We have running jokes, watch Disney movies, and sing with each other (but not actually in front of people). We all have similar outlooks on theater in execution and politics, and can all be on the same page when we have complaints. I'm just pretty happy to have these friends in my life, and I wanted to make note of it.
I think that's all for now. I've been working on my thesis throughout all of this, and school is still going well. I'm so close to Thanksgiving break and I'm looking forward to some time off and a trip home.
Today is awesome because I can reflect on these past few weeks with a smile.
The accidental tech week was actually pretty fun. It was for the play we did in the Auditorium, and I just genuinely enjoyed being around for that process. I got to hang lights, do some programming (patch and groups, but at least that's something), and I acquired ALDucklings. ALD stands for Assistant Lighting Designer, and there was a point when I was walking down the aisle of the theater and the designer sent his four assistants to follow me, which they did single file, and I turned around and called it a "Make Way for Ducklings moment" and later that night realized that ALDucklings was a thing. I love my ducklings. They are great.
The Saturday between tech weeks, I went to a workshop on how to program the Ion light board. I learned a lot of advanced programming things, especially to do with effects and intelligent lights, and really enjoyed getting to go through the tutorial. The instructor was the woman who writes the user manuals for the light board, which I consult all the time, so that was pretty awesome. And I'm all swagged out with ETC merch. I got a t-shirt, messenger bag, ETC button, Source IV button, Source IV LED button, a lanyard, and a USB drive that looks like a Source IV LED. Super fun.
My own show was quite amazing. It's called With Two Wings and was a fantasy Theater for Young Audiences (TYA) show. I am actually proud of my design. This really cool thing happened where I made the look I imagined in my brain actually come to life on stage, and I am still in amazed that I managed to program LEDs on the Express. My lights were smarter than my board, and I still got them to look awesome. I even wrote an effect and a macro, which I have never done before, and that has left me in shock for a whole week now. I have never used the Express before, so having executed a good design with equipment I do not know well made me pretty happy. The kids who came to the show were amazing. They picked up on so much in the story and the telling of the story, and I was so impressed by the things they said in the talk backs. The team was a great group of people, and I am so happy to have been a part of this show.
Now for the awesome friends. Through the entire quarter, and particularly these two tech weeks, I've been hanging out regularly with a pretty cool group of people. They just get me without me having to work for it, they like going on adventures, and it's not a big deal if I casually make humiliating comments about quarter birthdays in front of them. We have running jokes, watch Disney movies, and sing with each other (but not actually in front of people). We all have similar outlooks on theater in execution and politics, and can all be on the same page when we have complaints. I'm just pretty happy to have these friends in my life, and I wanted to make note of it.
I think that's all for now. I've been working on my thesis throughout all of this, and school is still going well. I'm so close to Thanksgiving break and I'm looking forward to some time off and a trip home.
Today is awesome because I can reflect on these past few weeks with a smile.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Totally Crazy and Genuinely Awesome Theater Story
On Friday, October 25, 2013, I did a totally crazy and genuinely awesome theater thing.
There is a show that goes up this coming week, but as a result of a scheduling snafu, they were originally scheduled to be performing the weekend of the 25th. As a result of the administration messing up, they were given a very special opportunity to stage their show for the parents who could not change travel arrangements, and they got to do this in the theater where our ginormous January musical goes up. I will call it the Auditorium. It was the first space I ever worked in as a college student doing student theater, and it is one of my favorite places in the world.
So, I spent that Friday doing one of my favorite things (lighting) in one of my favorite places (the Auditorium) with some of my favorite people (the friends who were there with me). It was AWESOME! It was so much fun and exhausting in the best way.
This is no small undertaking. The space in the Auditorium is on a much larger scale than on the venue where the show was originally designed to be. Doing all that we did in 12 hours is the same as what many shows manage to do in a whole week. The fact that it just happened and is now gone really speaks to how fleeting theater really is because there is literally no trace of what happened. I'm having trouble believing we actually did it.
I wanted to write about this day because of the contrast I felt so sharply from how I was on my first show to how I am now as a lighting person. I literally sat in the same seat, on the same butt board, at the same tech table, with the same pain from my knees hitting the tech table, in front of the same Ion console as I did for my first show. It was a physical reminder of what I was like on that first show. The difference? Last time, I was blindly doing everything that designer told me to do without really understanding it. This time, the designer (different person) asked me to patch the show, and I just sat there and did it, and I knew what I was doing.
I felt weird and conflicted, because the stupid freshman version of myself is still in me; I've just grown and learned in the last few years. However, I really struggle to take ownership of the fact that I actually do know things. It scares me a little when a person I've just met tells me that the reason they know my name is because somebody said, "don't worry, she'll be in the room." It's a lot of faith to have in me, and I don't want to let my friends down.
I think the best parts of the day were: (1) teaching freshmen how to do things, (2) just getting to do lighting-I focused the entire cove and balcony rail and just got to do things, (3) having the adventure with wonderful people, and (4) the moment when the woman who is in charge of the space professionally handed me bubble wrap to pad the tech table the same way I did as a freshman (when we met). So smile-inducing, and it was tons of fun to get to hang with her all day.
I really wanted to share this story because it was a day that was tons of fun as a result of theater. Those days happen a lot, but this one was very special, and I loved being a part of it.
Today is awesome because I'm riding the smiles left over from the crazy awesome adventure in the Auditorium.
There is a show that goes up this coming week, but as a result of a scheduling snafu, they were originally scheduled to be performing the weekend of the 25th. As a result of the administration messing up, they were given a very special opportunity to stage their show for the parents who could not change travel arrangements, and they got to do this in the theater where our ginormous January musical goes up. I will call it the Auditorium. It was the first space I ever worked in as a college student doing student theater, and it is one of my favorite places in the world.
So, I spent that Friday doing one of my favorite things (lighting) in one of my favorite places (the Auditorium) with some of my favorite people (the friends who were there with me). It was AWESOME! It was so much fun and exhausting in the best way.
This is no small undertaking. The space in the Auditorium is on a much larger scale than on the venue where the show was originally designed to be. Doing all that we did in 12 hours is the same as what many shows manage to do in a whole week. The fact that it just happened and is now gone really speaks to how fleeting theater really is because there is literally no trace of what happened. I'm having trouble believing we actually did it.
I wanted to write about this day because of the contrast I felt so sharply from how I was on my first show to how I am now as a lighting person. I literally sat in the same seat, on the same butt board, at the same tech table, with the same pain from my knees hitting the tech table, in front of the same Ion console as I did for my first show. It was a physical reminder of what I was like on that first show. The difference? Last time, I was blindly doing everything that designer told me to do without really understanding it. This time, the designer (different person) asked me to patch the show, and I just sat there and did it, and I knew what I was doing.
I felt weird and conflicted, because the stupid freshman version of myself is still in me; I've just grown and learned in the last few years. However, I really struggle to take ownership of the fact that I actually do know things. It scares me a little when a person I've just met tells me that the reason they know my name is because somebody said, "don't worry, she'll be in the room." It's a lot of faith to have in me, and I don't want to let my friends down.
I think the best parts of the day were: (1) teaching freshmen how to do things, (2) just getting to do lighting-I focused the entire cove and balcony rail and just got to do things, (3) having the adventure with wonderful people, and (4) the moment when the woman who is in charge of the space professionally handed me bubble wrap to pad the tech table the same way I did as a freshman (when we met). So smile-inducing, and it was tons of fun to get to hang with her all day.
I really wanted to share this story because it was a day that was tons of fun as a result of theater. Those days happen a lot, but this one was very special, and I loved being a part of it.
Today is awesome because I'm riding the smiles left over from the crazy awesome adventure in the Auditorium.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Senior Year: The Awesome and the Notsome
I've been in my senior year of college for a full three weeks now. I think it's time for a summary.
My classes are FANTASTIC!! I actually like everything I'm taking. I even love some of the classes. My thesis seminar has just finished meeting, but we spent the eight classes we did have discussing research ethics, the IRB (institutional review board) procedure, and then each student presented his/her thesis project for the class to discuss. While I do not want to personally research every topic that was presented, I do find each project to be fascinating in its own way and totally exciting. My other sociology class is on gangs. It's a typical 50-person sociology class with readings and lectures, but the topic is really cool.
My other two classes are theater classes. The first is sound design, which only met three times before our instructor took a three class hiatus to design a show out of town. He's super cool and super legit, and the class syllabus looks awesome. I can already tell I'm learning a lot.
The other theater class is Creative Drama. It is actually kind of changing my perspective on life. Things that I like or love now have a new definitional lens, and it is so cool. First of all, we mostly play and sing in class. It is so much fun. But the important thing is that we use Creative Drama to learn about human experiences. One of the activities we did in our big introductory improvisation was to write a letter to the character we were playing as a child using the non-dominant hand. It is a form called "writing in role," and the very next afternoon the second episode of the webseries "Emma Approved" (the vlog retelling of Jane Austen's Emma) was posted, and it was written using this very Creative Drama technique. Mind. Blown. Awesome class.
Other than classes and thesis work, I've been doing theater. I realized that I have become the person on campus who lighting people ask about lighting, and that's a weird role for me to have because there's always been one or more people ahead of me in that pecking order. Until now. Like, I have to be the one to teach people how to use truss? That's crazy. It's cool to be a leader, but the strangest thing to find it in this context. I have had a lot of fun working on shows with my friends, and I think there's a certain amount of not caring about impressing people that is making it more fun this year.
And speaking of not caring, I think that's been a pretty nice social shift for me. I'm feeling more relaxed about my place on campus. A large part of that is because so many of my friends have graduated and moved such that I don't see them regularly anymore, but I'm re-equilibrating to a new group of friends and patterns of spending time with people who are awesome.
However, this new social life, role in the theater community, and stage of life are often leading me to get lost in the nostalgia of both the past and the future. I have a pretty concrete idea of what I want to do next (not ready to share), so there's a lot of thinking about how that's going to go, planning ahead, and wondering what my university will be like once I've graduated. On the other hand, I find that the experiences I draw from of things that have already happened that can inform present decision-making involve things I learned from people who graduated. They graduated and are out of living memory. And those memories are strongly biased toward the positive even though I now have the lived experience to hypothesize that my friends were making things up just as much as I currently do. It takes a lot of effort to live in the moment. More effort than ever before.
I've done a lot of thinking about the relationships I have with people who are no longer in my immediate, proximate circle. I came up with a term for those friends who have been both my peers and my mentors. I call it being a "friend-tor" (get it? friend+mentor=friend-tor? I think it's clever.). My friend-tors mean a lot to me, and I'm not exactly sure what about my psychology draws me to these kinds of friendships, but there's something about the idea of caring to pass down knowledge and the ideals of mutual prosperity that keep me loyal to these friend-torships over the years.
I realized a few years ago that once I was no longer a freshman myself, I had the opportunity to influence people the way my friend-tors did for me. I really like the idea of having a legacy, but it's not been obvious to me if I've succeeded in any way at all. However, I did have a conversation with a friend who wanted to consult with me on some lighting stuff, and he told me that I've been that kind of influence for him. This friend is someone who I don't think of as any sort of mentee; in fact, I think he has more courage and creativity as a designer than I do, but it really was a special moment for him to be able to say that to me. I feel like I've accomplished a life goal.
I think that overall, I am quite happy at school this year. Things are good. When I am in the moment, everything is fantastic, but I often find myself lapsing into a world of nostalgia, which can leave me in a strange emotional place. Thus far, the new normal has been pretty great. Breaking it down, the awesome: classes, friends, theater; and the notsome: getting lost in nostalgia, missing friends who have graduated, feeling like that awkward senior in the corner.
Today is awesome because of good conversations.
My classes are FANTASTIC!! I actually like everything I'm taking. I even love some of the classes. My thesis seminar has just finished meeting, but we spent the eight classes we did have discussing research ethics, the IRB (institutional review board) procedure, and then each student presented his/her thesis project for the class to discuss. While I do not want to personally research every topic that was presented, I do find each project to be fascinating in its own way and totally exciting. My other sociology class is on gangs. It's a typical 50-person sociology class with readings and lectures, but the topic is really cool.
My other two classes are theater classes. The first is sound design, which only met three times before our instructor took a three class hiatus to design a show out of town. He's super cool and super legit, and the class syllabus looks awesome. I can already tell I'm learning a lot.
The other theater class is Creative Drama. It is actually kind of changing my perspective on life. Things that I like or love now have a new definitional lens, and it is so cool. First of all, we mostly play and sing in class. It is so much fun. But the important thing is that we use Creative Drama to learn about human experiences. One of the activities we did in our big introductory improvisation was to write a letter to the character we were playing as a child using the non-dominant hand. It is a form called "writing in role," and the very next afternoon the second episode of the webseries "Emma Approved" (the vlog retelling of Jane Austen's Emma) was posted, and it was written using this very Creative Drama technique. Mind. Blown. Awesome class.
Other than classes and thesis work, I've been doing theater. I realized that I have become the person on campus who lighting people ask about lighting, and that's a weird role for me to have because there's always been one or more people ahead of me in that pecking order. Until now. Like, I have to be the one to teach people how to use truss? That's crazy. It's cool to be a leader, but the strangest thing to find it in this context. I have had a lot of fun working on shows with my friends, and I think there's a certain amount of not caring about impressing people that is making it more fun this year.
And speaking of not caring, I think that's been a pretty nice social shift for me. I'm feeling more relaxed about my place on campus. A large part of that is because so many of my friends have graduated and moved such that I don't see them regularly anymore, but I'm re-equilibrating to a new group of friends and patterns of spending time with people who are awesome.
However, this new social life, role in the theater community, and stage of life are often leading me to get lost in the nostalgia of both the past and the future. I have a pretty concrete idea of what I want to do next (not ready to share), so there's a lot of thinking about how that's going to go, planning ahead, and wondering what my university will be like once I've graduated. On the other hand, I find that the experiences I draw from of things that have already happened that can inform present decision-making involve things I learned from people who graduated. They graduated and are out of living memory. And those memories are strongly biased toward the positive even though I now have the lived experience to hypothesize that my friends were making things up just as much as I currently do. It takes a lot of effort to live in the moment. More effort than ever before.
I've done a lot of thinking about the relationships I have with people who are no longer in my immediate, proximate circle. I came up with a term for those friends who have been both my peers and my mentors. I call it being a "friend-tor" (get it? friend+mentor=friend-tor? I think it's clever.). My friend-tors mean a lot to me, and I'm not exactly sure what about my psychology draws me to these kinds of friendships, but there's something about the idea of caring to pass down knowledge and the ideals of mutual prosperity that keep me loyal to these friend-torships over the years.
I realized a few years ago that once I was no longer a freshman myself, I had the opportunity to influence people the way my friend-tors did for me. I really like the idea of having a legacy, but it's not been obvious to me if I've succeeded in any way at all. However, I did have a conversation with a friend who wanted to consult with me on some lighting stuff, and he told me that I've been that kind of influence for him. This friend is someone who I don't think of as any sort of mentee; in fact, I think he has more courage and creativity as a designer than I do, but it really was a special moment for him to be able to say that to me. I feel like I've accomplished a life goal.
I think that overall, I am quite happy at school this year. Things are good. When I am in the moment, everything is fantastic, but I often find myself lapsing into a world of nostalgia, which can leave me in a strange emotional place. Thus far, the new normal has been pretty great. Breaking it down, the awesome: classes, friends, theater; and the notsome: getting lost in nostalgia, missing friends who have graduated, feeling like that awkward senior in the corner.
Today is awesome because of good conversations.
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