I have a somewhat involuntary physical response to music. Be it singing or dancing along, I can't help myself. This is particularly problematic when I'm walking around campus listening to my iPod because random people will see me bopping along to whatever I'm listening to, so I try to keep it to a hand twitch, but sometimes I get caught and it's really embarrassing.
The thing that puzzles me about music is its power. I wrote before about how it can bring me back into a moment, but it also creates a new moment every time I listen to it. And my memory for lyrics amazes me. I can hear a song a handful of times, read the lyrics once, and then I'll remember it for years. Singing along has always been something I've done and enjoyed. This started when I found the booklet of lyrics with my Beauty and the Beast CD after deciding that I wanted to be able to sing Belle's solo "Home" (from the musical, not the movie). I still look at lyrics when I get a CD, or I look them up online. Ask me today what the lyrics to a musical theater song are, and I probably will remember it if I have the soundtrack. Because I memorize. And that's my thing.
I'm a sucker for clever or poetic lyrics. I have a friend who does sound design, and I instantly fell in love with a song he played for speaker check when I heard the words "bucolic agrarian compound." Major vocab points for that one. That's just an example, but it only takes one word/phrase to make the lyrics clever.
I also find that I seem to have a soundtrack in my head, just of songs that fit a moment. Small sounds or a word can trigger the memory of a song and that becomes my background music. For example, the Ministry of Magic song "Snape vs. Snape" starts with a sort of chime pattern that I recalled when I heard the resonance pattern of the tent poles at DM. I kept expecting to hear the song after something knocked into them >.<
Basically, music is ubiquitous in my life. I respond to it physically, mentally, and, emotionally. There is nothing like it, and nothing can replace its significance in my life. I still probably have more to say on the subject, but that's all I can think of right now.
Today is awesome because I saw a friend I haven't seen for 3 months and I almost finished season four of Doctor Who.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Music
I have a bookmark that says "Music is love in search of a word." I couldn't agree more that music is a significant part of the human experience. Everyone listens to music, it is unavoidably ubiquitous, and everyone has their own associations for each song.
Throughout my life, music and individual songs have had different significance to me. When I was really young, all I listened to and sang were Broadway musicals (my parents tell me I sang entire shows as soon as I could talk). This became problematic in high school, and I began to diversify my iTunes library with mixes from my friends.
In the past year, I've really gotten into DFTBA Records and other independent musicians who promote themselves through YouTube. I also include Wizard Rock in this category. I have quite the Nerd playlist that has music by Hank Green, Lauren Fairweather, ALL CAPS, The Moaning Myrtles, Ministry of Magic, The Remus Lupins, Armoured Bearcub, Skyway Flyer, and Mike Lombardo. Yes, I am relatively well versed in this genre.
However, recently I've actually started listening to pop music (gasp!). It really started with Dance Marathon. The night before the event, I asked my friend about how things run at the light board, and he told me that we just keep everything in time with the music. When I asked what to do if I don't know the song, he said to just wing it, but to listen to a Top Hits Pandora station to prep a little. Well, I didn't have a Pandora (gasp! again!), and he was shocked and appalled. I registered on the spot using my smartphone and listened to that station leading up to DM. Only problem is that they played every song I heard during Block 1 (headdesk).
When I hear certain Nerd songs, it makes me think of how amazing the Triple Rainbow Awesome Tour was. It was such a unique experience to get to talk to the people who are inside my computer, and it reminded me that these musicians, while wildly talented and with thousands of fans from the internet, are just people who were lucky enough to pursue this dream.
The real problem is with the pop music. I've started associating the songs with whatever I was doing at DM. For example, "Firework" by Katy Perry brings me to both Blocks 7 and 10 (they played it twice). In Block 7, I was at the board and I got to do some fun stuff with the colors, and in Block 10 I was singing along and dancing with the group of friends with whom I now share that bond of common experience.
This happens with just about every song, but the most emotional one is probably "Bohemian Rhapsody." They played it in Block 10, and pretty much the entire lighting team was dancing in a corner of the tent at that point. We all sang along during the slower parts with our arms around each other in a circle and then danced our hearts out when the song turned to the rock part. I remember that we were by the visitor platform, and some adults were watching the entire tent do this same thing, and an older man said to his companion that he likes it when we all jump and dance. I guess our hugging and singing wasn't entertaining enough for him. But I always think of that closeness when I hear the song now. It was a powerful moment.
I think the power of music is that it stimulates a memory or a feeling that is much deeper than the song itself. There is a constant soundtrack for us to sing, dance, and have significant moments, and nothing recalls the emotions of an instant the way music can. "Nothing can capture the heart like a melody can"
Today is awesome because Adipose and Donna Noble's Grandfather are freaking adorable.
Throughout my life, music and individual songs have had different significance to me. When I was really young, all I listened to and sang were Broadway musicals (my parents tell me I sang entire shows as soon as I could talk). This became problematic in high school, and I began to diversify my iTunes library with mixes from my friends.
In the past year, I've really gotten into DFTBA Records and other independent musicians who promote themselves through YouTube. I also include Wizard Rock in this category. I have quite the Nerd playlist that has music by Hank Green, Lauren Fairweather, ALL CAPS, The Moaning Myrtles, Ministry of Magic, The Remus Lupins, Armoured Bearcub, Skyway Flyer, and Mike Lombardo. Yes, I am relatively well versed in this genre.
However, recently I've actually started listening to pop music (gasp!). It really started with Dance Marathon. The night before the event, I asked my friend about how things run at the light board, and he told me that we just keep everything in time with the music. When I asked what to do if I don't know the song, he said to just wing it, but to listen to a Top Hits Pandora station to prep a little. Well, I didn't have a Pandora (gasp! again!), and he was shocked and appalled. I registered on the spot using my smartphone and listened to that station leading up to DM. Only problem is that they played every song I heard during Block 1 (headdesk).
When I hear certain Nerd songs, it makes me think of how amazing the Triple Rainbow Awesome Tour was. It was such a unique experience to get to talk to the people who are inside my computer, and it reminded me that these musicians, while wildly talented and with thousands of fans from the internet, are just people who were lucky enough to pursue this dream.
The real problem is with the pop music. I've started associating the songs with whatever I was doing at DM. For example, "Firework" by Katy Perry brings me to both Blocks 7 and 10 (they played it twice). In Block 7, I was at the board and I got to do some fun stuff with the colors, and in Block 10 I was singing along and dancing with the group of friends with whom I now share that bond of common experience.
This happens with just about every song, but the most emotional one is probably "Bohemian Rhapsody." They played it in Block 10, and pretty much the entire lighting team was dancing in a corner of the tent at that point. We all sang along during the slower parts with our arms around each other in a circle and then danced our hearts out when the song turned to the rock part. I remember that we were by the visitor platform, and some adults were watching the entire tent do this same thing, and an older man said to his companion that he likes it when we all jump and dance. I guess our hugging and singing wasn't entertaining enough for him. But I always think of that closeness when I hear the song now. It was a powerful moment.
I think the power of music is that it stimulates a memory or a feeling that is much deeper than the song itself. There is a constant soundtrack for us to sing, dance, and have significant moments, and nothing recalls the emotions of an instant the way music can. "Nothing can capture the heart like a melody can"
Today is awesome because Adipose and Donna Noble's Grandfather are freaking adorable.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Life is Made of Moments
My desktop background is a slide show of my photos. It cycles through an entire album I've dedicated to this purpose, and that album has contained photos of family, camp, travels, friends, high school, and college. Recently, I've edited its contents to a few group shots of my friends, some tae kwon do photos, and my pics from the Triple Rainbow Awesome Tour, Ragtime, and DM.
Whenever I look at any of my photos, I am instantly taken back to that moment when it was taken. What was I doing? Who was I with? What led up to that moment? What happened after? How were we feeling? How have my feelings changed as I become distanced from the experience? It all happens in a moment.
Watching my desktop cycle through the photos, I'm realizing how fast time moves and how unique these moments are. I can never relive any of them because even if I could go back in time to be in the exact same place with the exact same people, I would be different because I would be my present self who had already experienced that event. That's really the fun of life; the fact that we have to make the most of things as they happen because those moments cannot be replaced.
I know this is sounding like I'm realizing the truth of a cliche, but it's really a realization about people. Many of the friends I have been sharing these amazing experiences with are older than me, and, whether I like it or not, they will be leaving the university before I will. And the sensation of losing friends is more acute than in high school because then there were always days to visit, but after college, people get jobs and move away to start their lives. Not much visiting then.
There will continue to be Dolphin Shows and Dance Marathons and other such immortal events, but I only get to participate four times. This year was my first time with these experiences, and I will always have these memories, but my first year was also the last year for so many of my friends. It leaves me wondering what will happen next year and the subsequent years and how I and they fit into the future of the event.
I shouldn't be this bleak and nostalgic, and I'm really not sad about anything I did; these are my favorite memories of college so far. I just struggle with the impermanence of the people who are so central to my life right now. I'm going to miss them a lot, but when I really think about it I know that I'll meet first-years next year who will become my friends and then worry about me graduating. It's just a cycle. Each moment is its own experience and there will always be a person present or missing to make it meaningful.
Today is awesome because I got to reflect on some truly amazing moments I shared with some truly amazing people.
Whenever I look at any of my photos, I am instantly taken back to that moment when it was taken. What was I doing? Who was I with? What led up to that moment? What happened after? How were we feeling? How have my feelings changed as I become distanced from the experience? It all happens in a moment.
Watching my desktop cycle through the photos, I'm realizing how fast time moves and how unique these moments are. I can never relive any of them because even if I could go back in time to be in the exact same place with the exact same people, I would be different because I would be my present self who had already experienced that event. That's really the fun of life; the fact that we have to make the most of things as they happen because those moments cannot be replaced.
I know this is sounding like I'm realizing the truth of a cliche, but it's really a realization about people. Many of the friends I have been sharing these amazing experiences with are older than me, and, whether I like it or not, they will be leaving the university before I will. And the sensation of losing friends is more acute than in high school because then there were always days to visit, but after college, people get jobs and move away to start their lives. Not much visiting then.
There will continue to be Dolphin Shows and Dance Marathons and other such immortal events, but I only get to participate four times. This year was my first time with these experiences, and I will always have these memories, but my first year was also the last year for so many of my friends. It leaves me wondering what will happen next year and the subsequent years and how I and they fit into the future of the event.
I shouldn't be this bleak and nostalgic, and I'm really not sad about anything I did; these are my favorite memories of college so far. I just struggle with the impermanence of the people who are so central to my life right now. I'm going to miss them a lot, but when I really think about it I know that I'll meet first-years next year who will become my friends and then worry about me graduating. It's just a cycle. Each moment is its own experience and there will always be a person present or missing to make it meaningful.
Today is awesome because I got to reflect on some truly amazing moments I shared with some truly amazing people.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Spring Break Time
This has been the most awesome week. On Monday, I finished 2 classes (I'm ignoring the fact that that meant two finals), loaded out the DM rentals, and baked cookies. On Tuesday, I went to the gym, wrote a paper, helped a friend with some lighting stuff, went to the first read-through of The Mystery of Irma Vep, and did lights and sound for my friend's a capella group. Wednesday, I edited my paper, had a meeting to transfer leadership of a group, declared my major (sociology), went back to the friend's show, and ran a carnival at night. Thursday, I went to the gym, had lunch with friends I hadn't seen for a long time, turned in my paper, and then just kind of hung around the student center with friends, occasionally helping with some lights for shows, had dinner with a friend, and ended up board opping the friend's show that I had helped with earlier in the week. Friday, I had brunch, packed, cleaned my room, went to the student center to help another friend with his show and hang out, and saw a wonderful play. Now, I'm passing the time before I have to leave to fly home for Spring Break!
This week has been freaking awesome because I've basically doing the non-school parts of school. I love those; it's what makes the experience of being here unique and fun. That said, my classes have been pretty awesome. The two parts of being at school balance each other out, so while I think about literature and sociology for class, I can also spend time thinking about theater and friends. Things are pretty good here.
So, yeah, I kind of became an official sociology major this week. That happened. I spent a lot of time being undecided because before you get to college nobody really talks to you about what choosing a major means. Everyone assumes it indicates a career track, but it really doesn't unless you're an engineer or something specific like that. Any liberal arts degree is pretty much useless in predicting a career; they simply describe the way you think and see the world around you. For me, sociology is a good fit because I like to analyze why people do what they do, what influences and motivates their actions and choices. I was doing sociology before I even knew what sociology was, and that's why I feel confident in my choice of major.
Non-sequiter! (I've been doing really well with vocab points this week)
I received a care package from home this week. It was a fruit basket ordered from a company that makes finals week care packages for college students. I really liked everything inside, but in particular I was amused by the card that said "Great News! You received a care package from home! Now it is your turn to say, "Thank you!" How about an email or a call home?" I find this amusing because I texted my dad before I even opened the package. It was really cute :)
I have officially gone three weeks without using a revolving door, and that makes me very happy. I hate revolving doors. It's just a thing.
Today is awesome because in a few hours I'll be home with my family, house, friends, and dog. I miss King a lot.
This week has been freaking awesome because I've basically doing the non-school parts of school. I love those; it's what makes the experience of being here unique and fun. That said, my classes have been pretty awesome. The two parts of being at school balance each other out, so while I think about literature and sociology for class, I can also spend time thinking about theater and friends. Things are pretty good here.
So, yeah, I kind of became an official sociology major this week. That happened. I spent a lot of time being undecided because before you get to college nobody really talks to you about what choosing a major means. Everyone assumes it indicates a career track, but it really doesn't unless you're an engineer or something specific like that. Any liberal arts degree is pretty much useless in predicting a career; they simply describe the way you think and see the world around you. For me, sociology is a good fit because I like to analyze why people do what they do, what influences and motivates their actions and choices. I was doing sociology before I even knew what sociology was, and that's why I feel confident in my choice of major.
Non-sequiter! (I've been doing really well with vocab points this week)
I received a care package from home this week. It was a fruit basket ordered from a company that makes finals week care packages for college students. I really liked everything inside, but in particular I was amused by the card that said "Great News! You received a care package from home! Now it is your turn to say, "Thank you!" How about an email or a call home?" I find this amusing because I texted my dad before I even opened the package. It was really cute :)
I have officially gone three weeks without using a revolving door, and that makes me very happy. I hate revolving doors. It's just a thing.
Today is awesome because in a few hours I'll be home with my family, house, friends, and dog. I miss King a lot.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I am now an official member of the 30 Hour Club
So, this weekend was Dance Marathon 2011. The primary beneficiary was the Children's Heart Foundation (CHF) and the Evanston Community Foundation (ECF). First of all, I just need to report the fund raising total: $1,019,130!! This year's DM was the biggest yet and the first to break 1 million dollars. I am so proud to start my DM story with that legacy.
After tech week, the Productions Committee was called at 3:00 in the afternoon on Friday to put together the finishing touches on tent set-up. This included final programming for lights, getting all of our things out of the tent, final announcements, and clean-up. Then, a bit before 7:00, we all lined up with the other committees to make a tunnel for the dancers to run through as they entered the tent while we cheered for them. It was really fun to see how many people were participating, but also how many of them I knew. The collective effervescence of the moment created solidarity among all those who were participating across the roles.
Once the dancers were in, we started off with an exciting first block (the marathon is divided into 10 3-hour blocks, each with its own theme). I ended up dancing the first block with my friends from the team, and less than halfway through we all had to step out to change out of our jeans and into shorts. The tent got so hot! After that, the marathon fell into a nice rhythm of being at the lights station, dancing, block changes, and trips to the committee rooms.
I really loved everything we did this weekend. When I was at the board, I was really running the show, and that was so cool. DM is a time when all the lighting people get to play with the fun/cool effects that we can't use in regular theater, so to be able to use such saturated colors, crazy gobos, rotating effects, blinders, and make everything move to a beat was a joy. In the pictures, we all look so serious because we're concentrating so hard, but it's all about timing the things we want to do so it looks and feels good with the music. I was dancing at the board so I could keep the beat of each song as I was making things happen.
Throughout the event, there were videos made by student groups, celebrities, companies, organizations, and the emcees that were a fun break from the dance party. We also had performances by some student groups during meals (dancing, stepping, drumline), and, my personal favorite, the 30 Hour Dance. The 30 Hour Dance is a choreographed dance that we learn in pieces, one per block. I started paying attention around block 5 (my first at the board), and got really excited (maybe a little too much so?) when it was time for the next installment. What can I say, it's a good dance!
Block 10 is a really unique experience. Everyone wears the DM shirt for that year, so we have that solidarity before we are even all gathered in the tent. Since it's the last block, there's extra energy to get through it because of the final fund raising reports, speeches, videos, recognitions, and the 30 Hour Dance. During block 10, I got to dance with my friends, run the board for a song, have committee recognition on stage (which included a fun cue that drew attention to our designers who intentionally stayed at the board for the pleasure of being able to make the cue...lighting nerds...), and just celebrate the success of the event.
After the dancers left, DM Productions still had work to do. We had to lower all of our truss so that sound could be gone immediately. While it was down, we got most of the lights and all of the cable off and started coiling it. We had part 1 of strike until about 4AM, then reconvened at 10AM to finish the job. We finished around 1:30PM and proceeded to Walker Bros. Pancake House for a celebratory meal where we found out that our committee won the spirit award. Everyone was exhausted, but nobody was disappointed with how things went.
There is no easy way to describe how moving it was to feel the love in the room as we finished the marathon together. Nobody expected that over a million dollars would be raised and the sincerity of the organization representatives' thanks brought everyone to tears. There's something about the achievement of this type of feat that brings people together in a way that nothing else can. To get through a grueling 30 hours of physical and mental exertion without knowing the final result of the effort is a bonding experience like no other.
Today is awesome because I get to sleep after DM!
After tech week, the Productions Committee was called at 3:00 in the afternoon on Friday to put together the finishing touches on tent set-up. This included final programming for lights, getting all of our things out of the tent, final announcements, and clean-up. Then, a bit before 7:00, we all lined up with the other committees to make a tunnel for the dancers to run through as they entered the tent while we cheered for them. It was really fun to see how many people were participating, but also how many of them I knew. The collective effervescence of the moment created solidarity among all those who were participating across the roles.
Once the dancers were in, we started off with an exciting first block (the marathon is divided into 10 3-hour blocks, each with its own theme). I ended up dancing the first block with my friends from the team, and less than halfway through we all had to step out to change out of our jeans and into shorts. The tent got so hot! After that, the marathon fell into a nice rhythm of being at the lights station, dancing, block changes, and trips to the committee rooms.
I really loved everything we did this weekend. When I was at the board, I was really running the show, and that was so cool. DM is a time when all the lighting people get to play with the fun/cool effects that we can't use in regular theater, so to be able to use such saturated colors, crazy gobos, rotating effects, blinders, and make everything move to a beat was a joy. In the pictures, we all look so serious because we're concentrating so hard, but it's all about timing the things we want to do so it looks and feels good with the music. I was dancing at the board so I could keep the beat of each song as I was making things happen.
Throughout the event, there were videos made by student groups, celebrities, companies, organizations, and the emcees that were a fun break from the dance party. We also had performances by some student groups during meals (dancing, stepping, drumline), and, my personal favorite, the 30 Hour Dance. The 30 Hour Dance is a choreographed dance that we learn in pieces, one per block. I started paying attention around block 5 (my first at the board), and got really excited (maybe a little too much so?) when it was time for the next installment. What can I say, it's a good dance!
Block 10 is a really unique experience. Everyone wears the DM shirt for that year, so we have that solidarity before we are even all gathered in the tent. Since it's the last block, there's extra energy to get through it because of the final fund raising reports, speeches, videos, recognitions, and the 30 Hour Dance. During block 10, I got to dance with my friends, run the board for a song, have committee recognition on stage (which included a fun cue that drew attention to our designers who intentionally stayed at the board for the pleasure of being able to make the cue...lighting nerds...), and just celebrate the success of the event.
After the dancers left, DM Productions still had work to do. We had to lower all of our truss so that sound could be gone immediately. While it was down, we got most of the lights and all of the cable off and started coiling it. We had part 1 of strike until about 4AM, then reconvened at 10AM to finish the job. We finished around 1:30PM and proceeded to Walker Bros. Pancake House for a celebratory meal where we found out that our committee won the spirit award. Everyone was exhausted, but nobody was disappointed with how things went.
There is no easy way to describe how moving it was to feel the love in the room as we finished the marathon together. Nobody expected that over a million dollars would be raised and the sincerity of the organization representatives' thanks brought everyone to tears. There's something about the achievement of this type of feat that brings people together in a way that nothing else can. To get through a grueling 30 hours of physical and mental exertion without knowing the final result of the effort is a bonding experience like no other.
Today is awesome because I get to sleep after DM!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Crazy Week, and It Only Gets Crazier!!
So, for all you people who have been asking, yes, my birthday was wonderful. It was relaxed, friend-filled, and lovely. I even got to take a walk by the lake because it was warm enough for me to be outside for an extended period of time. And there was ice cream.
Since then, I've been working through my last week of classes for the quarter. I had an exam yesterday, and I have my final lecture today. Monday I have two exams, Thursday I have a final paper due, and then I'm DONE! And I thought it was exciting to be done with my reading on Monday (2/28). It's been a fabulous quarter, but the school parts of school aren't as fun as the non-school parts, and I get pretty much an open week to enjoy those.
Right now, I feel like I'm either really excited or really stupid. Dance Marathon, a 30 hour event whose purpose is to raise money for a beneficiary agency (this year it is the Children's Heart Foundation), starts tonight, and I joined the lights team this week. That means I have to be up and able to make cool lighting happen for the dancers for 30 hours. I think the first and last bits are going to be energetic and awesome, but the parts in the middle of the night (like 3AM) are going to be really hard. And no caffeine, or you'll crash. I need to choose to be excited because if I worry too much about the tiredness, then it'll ruin the awesomeness of what is actually happening. Plus, the lights are so cool!!! We have moving lights that can create such saturated colors and the patterns are so awesome. I'm really excited about what this team gets to do.
Anyway, things are awesome and it is such a relief to be finishing this quarter. I'm so excited for all that is to come!!
Today is awesome because it is the culmination of a huge student undertaking, both in philanthropy and productions.
Since then, I've been working through my last week of classes for the quarter. I had an exam yesterday, and I have my final lecture today. Monday I have two exams, Thursday I have a final paper due, and then I'm DONE! And I thought it was exciting to be done with my reading on Monday (2/28). It's been a fabulous quarter, but the school parts of school aren't as fun as the non-school parts, and I get pretty much an open week to enjoy those.
Right now, I feel like I'm either really excited or really stupid. Dance Marathon, a 30 hour event whose purpose is to raise money for a beneficiary agency (this year it is the Children's Heart Foundation), starts tonight, and I joined the lights team this week. That means I have to be up and able to make cool lighting happen for the dancers for 30 hours. I think the first and last bits are going to be energetic and awesome, but the parts in the middle of the night (like 3AM) are going to be really hard. And no caffeine, or you'll crash. I need to choose to be excited because if I worry too much about the tiredness, then it'll ruin the awesomeness of what is actually happening. Plus, the lights are so cool!!! We have moving lights that can create such saturated colors and the patterns are so awesome. I'm really excited about what this team gets to do.
Anyway, things are awesome and it is such a relief to be finishing this quarter. I'm so excited for all that is to come!!
Today is awesome because it is the culmination of a huge student undertaking, both in philanthropy and productions.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Reflections on the Past Year
So, it's my birthday. The past year has been pretty incredible, and when I think about all that I accomplished, I'm really happy with all the things I did at that age.
I graduated, got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do (that was HUGE for me!! I still enjoy thinking about those tests), started swimming, went to college, did well in college, learned electrics, rediscovered theater, found sociology, made a whole bunch of awesome new friends, became closer with my friends from home, learned how to live on my own, learned to play the guitar, followed through on my projects/goals, made my internet identity, did a LOT of growing up, and discovered a lot about myself.
Tonight, I'm going to celebrate with my friends. This morning, I cleaned my room. That sounds bad. I decided that I'm not doing homework today because I shouldn't have to on my birthday of all days (so, to facilitate this, I worked extra hard through the weekend), and I just really wanted to clean my room. To me, cleaning my room puts me in charge of my environment, and I like being in control. Plus, using a couple sanitizing wipes and a vacuum isn't that hard and makes me feel good. And if it makes me happy on my birthday, I should do it!
I like my birthday. It's a milestone and a moment to be happy. The thing I struggle with is if you tell people that it's your birthday. If you do, it's begging for happy birthday wishes; if you don't, nobody knows and when friends find out that you didn't tell them, they sometimes get mad. I never know which side is safer, and I don't want to be attention-seeking, because it's just another day for everyone else.
Today is awesome because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
I graduated, got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do (that was HUGE for me!! I still enjoy thinking about those tests), started swimming, went to college, did well in college, learned electrics, rediscovered theater, found sociology, made a whole bunch of awesome new friends, became closer with my friends from home, learned how to live on my own, learned to play the guitar, followed through on my projects/goals, made my internet identity, did a LOT of growing up, and discovered a lot about myself.
Tonight, I'm going to celebrate with my friends. This morning, I cleaned my room. That sounds bad. I decided that I'm not doing homework today because I shouldn't have to on my birthday of all days (so, to facilitate this, I worked extra hard through the weekend), and I just really wanted to clean my room. To me, cleaning my room puts me in charge of my environment, and I like being in control. Plus, using a couple sanitizing wipes and a vacuum isn't that hard and makes me feel good. And if it makes me happy on my birthday, I should do it!
I like my birthday. It's a milestone and a moment to be happy. The thing I struggle with is if you tell people that it's your birthday. If you do, it's begging for happy birthday wishes; if you don't, nobody knows and when friends find out that you didn't tell them, they sometimes get mad. I never know which side is safer, and I don't want to be attention-seeking, because it's just another day for everyone else.
Today is awesome because IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
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