December 30, 2010

"Leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you." page 234, Paper Towns by John Green

 This is true of permanent leavings, like a graduation or a new house or a new city, but as I walked out of the dojang tonight and as I leave my friends tomorrow night and my parents on Sunday it will not feel good and pure. In fact, it will feel sad and give me a sense of loss because I am leaving the people who make my home special. So, to all of you, thank you for being a significant part of my life. I am sad to be separated from you by my winter quarter, but I will see everyone again in March and I look forward to that return immensely.

I think John has a point about the pureness of leaving. In the book, the protagonist/narrator, Q, makes the above statement because he has just left his high school for good. That is a leaving that a person works up to for his or her entire life, and it feels great to graduate. But I think the book omits the idea that you can always go back. I mean, when I am at school I am away and living a new life, but I can always come home to my parents' house, my friends, my dojang, and visit my high school. It's a different perspective to be around in a visiting sense than a living sense, but I can still come home to the people that make it my home.

Driving away from that first sad leaving, I turned on Luke Conard's song "Not Alone." The second verse and chorus are as follows:

"This past year has been something I'll hold onto forever; many new friends and memories, everyone feels so close to me. And if it all turns to grey, even the coldest nights will fade away because I'm not alone. I still remember the last time I saw you and the times we had together, but while today I'm alone, I won't be somber 'cause our friendships will last us forever."

I really like the sentiments of love and friendship and permanence he put into his lyrics. It was really applicable at the time, and I always like this song because he turns a melancholy loneliness into a hopeful connectedness, which is a theme John Green also explores when he uses Walt Whitman's Song of Myself to describe humanity as being connected like leaves of grass.

"I tramp a perpetual journey" (Whitman)

Today is awesome because of love.